Genuinely Human

Most of us were raised to say please and thank you, and, as kids, we normally didn't really know what it meant or even mean it - it was just something that we were supposed to say (my toddler says it after EVERYTHING). While we might actually mean it sometimes as adults, we still only use it in the generally accepted social situations. It keeps our interactions running smoothly. It's rarely personal. It's just what we are supposed to do.

There isn't anything wrong with any of that, but something has recently happened to me two times now: after asking my neighbor for help with moving a heavy piece of furniture, he thanked ME. He wasn't doing it to be funny, but he genuinely meant it. He was grateful that in a time of need, I would think of him. Both times, it threw me off.

Anybody who has worked in the service industry knows how thankless the job can be. I did my stint at Subway as a high-schooler. My neighbor thanking me reminded me of a customer I used to serve. Every time he ordered, he would look you in the eyes and say, "Thank you. I really appreciate everything you do here," and just like my neighbor, he genuinely meant it, and that's why I still remember him 20+ years later.

In this world of constant internet access, especially post(ish) COVID-19, we have less social interaction in person than ever before. We can interact with our friends and shut out everybody else. We live in these bubbles where we lose out on having the opportunity to make somebody we don't know feel seen. We lose out on making everybody feel special.

These genuine actions are what make a person stand out. It's about making everybody you interact with feel special. It's making people feel like they're actually seen in life. This isn't just while ordering a sandwich at Subway, but it's how you should act at work, when seeing your neighbors, and when you see your friends and family. It's how you act around everybody you interact with.

The beauty of having a mindset like this is that you also feel good about it. You feel connected with the person. You feel like you can walk with your head held high - Yes, all of this is probably why some people believe in the philosophy of Egoism⁽¹⁾.

So, as you are tired, hungry, and don't feel like talking to somebody, take a deep breath and give them your attention. Make them understand that you care about what they're saying with your actions. Make them feel good all while making yourself feel good too.

(1) Merriam-Webster defines egoism as a doctrine that individual self-interest is the valid end of all actions.